ADOPTEE VOICES & STORIES

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(19/19) I do! It's important too. I had children's books that my mom read to normalize certain aspects of my life. Other than that, there weren't many people speaking out about adoption or the Asian American experience, etc. More recently, I'm seeing more Asians in the media and more adoptees speaking about their experiences. I wish I had these when I was younger to help me work through some of the challenges instead of feeling like this little genetic island. (18/19) Do you have any last remarks? (17/19) Do you have any advice for adoptees who have gone through similar experiences to you? (16/19) From start to finish, the adoption process took 18 months. Knowing my mom, she spent a lot of time planning and researching to ensure she would be the best mother she could be, given the circumstances. It's her nature to be intentional, caring, and empathetic. (15/19) For example, I have a Barbie that was given to my mom by the White Swan Hotel. They specially-made Barbies that had Chinese babies. The typical Barbie is purposefully childless, but this was a nontraditional portrayal of families and motherhood. After the Barbie movie came out, I went online to see how much it was worth, and I came across a comment from someone criticizing this Barbie for representing a white savior complex. It was so shocking to me that someone had that view of adoption. I don't understand the assumption that parents can't love children they didn't create, and there has to be some ulterior motive. Of course, there are certain specific challenges related to being adopted, but I think people can be too narrow-minded when it comes to the way families are created. I was adopted by a single mom and have a pseudo-dad who is not biologically or legally related to me by any means. Regardless of this nontraditional dynamic, there is so much love, and as long as there is love, what else matters? (14/19) I am extremely grateful for whatever fate there is in the world. I've been so lucky in life. I have a loving family and a wonderful mother, and now I'm living in Paris. It's really a dream life. Having that visual of the orphanage, and knowing that I spent my first year somewhere even more rural, it presents a very clear picture of what my life could have looked like versus what it is now. I truly believe I would have been a completely different person had I not been put up for adoption. (13/19) I remember when we went to the orphanage, they had made a welcome banner, and their foster mothers shared stories of when they were babies. It was the only time I felt a strong desire to reconnect with my past. Emotionally, I don't know what that experience was like for the two girls, but it made me feel like I was missing out on something. I was at an age where I had started writing essays in school about being adopted, all centering around the mystery of my birth family and having a part of me that may never be solved. Being in that mindset, it bothered me not being able to have an answer in the same way the other girls could. Even if they weren't meeting their birth parents, at least they had something. (12/19) So, it took almost two years of mental work to be completely at peace with being Chinese. (11/19) There was a very short period in 2021 when there was a three-day Stop Asian Hate movement. At the time, I had a blog, and I had been doing all of this mental work, so I decided to dedicate a blog post to the movement. I was terrified because most of my followers were people I knew personally, and while they were friends, I knew they wouldn't be able to relate. Since I also had never spoken about these issues with any of my friends, I wasn't sure what reaction I would get. Anyway, I shared a draft with my mom, and when she sent it back, all she said was 'It's time for you to tell your truth'. I sobbed instantly. It was all the validation I needed at that moment. It meant so much to me knowing that my mom had read everything I had to say, tried to understand all my emotions, and was empathetic. I think this is one of my favorite mom moments.
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